Wednesday, January 04, 2006
2dae went fer sec 1 de orientation, so dink nort counted s training. Very slack 2dae. Sat around wit my sec 2 juniors n toke around. Played 2 quarter. Den did nort play any more. Did suare fer 2 tymes. Was quite cool tuh do it, cost hw weather was lyk, so dark n cooling. Saw jam n lynne 2dae, dey came fer netball. Dey nvr play quarters at 1st, lata I dunnoe. Dey also nvr do square n L fer the 1st tyme. Afta tt raining, jam played wit saying, passing passes. They laughed happily. I dink jam n lynne still lyk n miss netball, for the sake of netball, nort for coach. I hope dey will come tuh training every tyme, jus fer the sake of netball bahs. God, bless dem in wadeva dey do. And wadeva decision dey make. Thanks lotsa. =)
watashiYimxD @ 3:41 AM
Friday, December 30, 2005
2dae went fer netball training. Was quite nervous, dun realli feel lyk going at first. I m tired in the morning, but luckily my dad sent me tuh sch. Can save my energy walking n waiting, sians. 2dae huiting nvr cum, heard frm ruiling becos she ish sick. God, pls let her hab speedy recovery, thanks lotsa. =)
2dae training does nort hab much running, but coach say tt our passes decide how much we gonna run. We drop 8 balls in the beginning, den 6 balls in the third drills. We put our ball down n went fer 1 k run. Afta tt continued tuh do our drills. B4 we can even finish the last 2 drills, we dropped 14 balls again, tis tyme we run much more den 1 k. tuh me its okie, but the rest seem tired. Luckily, the last half drill we did nort drop any ball. Coach made us do L again wit much more speed work, we den took a rest. We had set play which everyone will get a chance tuh try. I did 2 tymes. Afta tt we had games. I was made tuh be the umpire, when I dun noe how. If I were tuh sit down n watch dem play, I can spot mistakes but nort when I was umpiring. Did a real bad job man.
Strength: did nort drop any ball when doing passes =). coach say I did well in the 2 set play. Was getting beta afta a scolding frm coach in the game.
Weakness: made a faulty pass tuh sum one (cant rmb) tt made her almost drop the ball. Did nort play really hard in games. My skills sucks tuh the core man. =S cld nort dodge well n defend well. Missed lotsa balls, made lotsa faulty passes.
watashiYimxD @ 8:36 PM
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Ytd I went tuh netball. I was afraid tuh face coach. I dun wanna c him, tts all I noe. Sians. I woke up quite early, cos I wanted tuh take a step at a tyme, slowly pack things, change shirt & tie hair. Hais. I slowly wake tuh the bus stop. Bus 975 came nort long afta tt, board on the bus. Hais. Reach sch. Ruiling & huiting already at dere shoot ball le. Hais. Den I ask ruiling if she ish joining me n Valerie fer cip lata, she said she eating lunch wit huiting. Hais. Huiting stamina drop lotsa le, wads rong wit her? I wanted so much tuh noe, seriously. Ish she serious, really wanna go outa sch team? Hais. Y must is happened? We dun toke at all. Den finally we toke when doing set play. Jus a few words.
Strength: none. Coach said I did well in set play.
Weakness: lotsa today. I was the FIRST tuh drop ball 2dae. Wads rong wit me? Sians. Coach ask hu train in the holiday, I wanted tuh raise up my hand. I ran 3.44 km, did situps everyday (200 currently), do tortoise fer 3.14mins. but I dun do well, wld he believe? No. I did nort defend hard 2dae, dunnoe why. Sum tymes I really dunnoe y I still go fer training s I m already nort in the sch team. Wad for? Even if I strive hard, no 1 noes, no 1 understands, I wun be recognized. Wad for? I owas ask myself. But sum thing tells me tt I mus go on. Determination ish the key word I nit. Tts all, very simple. Determination? The spelling of it ish simple. The process of it ish diff. I dunnoe. Sum thing gave me strength tuh do so. Izzit u, God? I noe its u. =) I cant promise ant, but I noe I will definitely TRY. Thanks lotsa.
watashiYimxD @ 6:28 AM
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Jogging days are lyk tt. Tired.
watashiYimxD @ 6:14 AM
Friday, December 23, 2005
2dae went tuh netball camp. Last night, I dun feel lyk going. I was thinking if I cld think of jus any reason tuh skip it. I did nort slp well last night. Even though I did nort get enuf slp, I dun feel tired in the morning. Maybe it ish becos my heart ish numb le bahs. Shld I persevere or gib up? I dunnoe. I jus noe tt I wld rather hate netball den lub netball. God, teach me how.
2dae I reach sch dunnoe wad tyme. But the rest already reach. Dey were sitting around the bench at the void deck, I was sitting alone at the usual netball place. Den suddenly 3 sec 1 came & sat dere. Did nort toke tuh dem cos dey are toking among them selves. I walked away when celine came. Cos I noe dey will be toking when I m sitting dere extra. Hais.
We played captain ball 1st. nort very fun cos aqilah dey all gort tuh choose their own grp. And the rest same grp s me. Sians. But heyma did beta 2dae. She manage tuh defend aqilah’s ball when sum netballers found it diff tuh do so. We played some fun games tt I nvr tried b4. the last 1 tt I played was treasure hunt. Was quite fun at the starting. But den Cecilia n xueting started tuh play cheat. Was a cheating game. But nort bad, at least the game can end even longer wit us being fooled running around. Hahas. Dun really lyk zhihui’s attitude cos we weren’t following her. Its jus tt whenever we go, we saw her grp. Hais. She wun understand. Mr kong scolded us 2dae. Feel bad too. I jus thought tt tis batch of netballers, regardless whether its sec 1, 2 or 3, will prove tuh the sports dept tt we r united. But 2dae was a great disappointment. He said tt our team leader ship nort strong. I agree every word he said. All ppl in netball ish nort perfect, of cos me too. I cant judge anyone. I jus feel tt I mite regret joining tis netball team.
2dae toke bout 2ml’s outing. I noe the organizers feel bad. Dey had tuh do lotsa things b4 dey nit tuh inform us. They are kept bz jus tuh make 2ml’s outing a success. Whereas, I dun dink dere’s outing 2ml. sigh. Mdm fazilah toked bout jersey. Was a stab into my heart. I noe I have no place in netball tuh even chose wad kinda jersey I wanna. I m already nort in the sch team. How I wish I did nort strive tt hard. How I wish I can do much more beta. I m jus sucky! Damn it. Sigh. Nobody will understand. Strving 2 yrs jus tuh get into sch team. I gib up. Eveytime oso gort prob der. I tried my best tuh improve my skills le, wad on earth do dey wan me tuh do? Dey dink I wanna sprain my ankle arhs? I dun wanna. Dey wun understand. Now even huiting ish no longer my fwen slowly. I m lost. God, teach me how.
I dun wanna face celine. When eva I see her, will remind me of jia jia, but how. Tis ish the 1st tyme I m happy in netball. I m nort close tuh my batch of netballer, but I m closer tuh the sec 1s. I noe celine ish celine and jia jia iah jia jia. Dey are diff. I dunnoe. God, teach me how. Gib me ans tuh all quests in my heart.
watashiYimxD @ 6:32 AM
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Oh gosh. Me cant go fer personal training le. My knee cap hurts. Cant even walk properly. Sians. How? I hope its nort my knee prob. I beg God tuh gib me another type of illness, at least I can still play netball. Sigh. Shld I giv up? God, pls tell me so.
watashiYimxD @ 2:24 AM
Sunday, December 11, 2005
081205
2dae went tuh netball. Coach asked me go de cos amalina nort going. Sort of replacing her fer a while. Was a humiliate cos I m nort in sch team le. Ppl in sch ask here n dere in front of me say, kiayim sch team meh? Feel lyk crying out loud. Even if I m nort, cant dey jus keep their mouth shut? I saw ruiling n huiting happily playing. I noe tt me n huiting no longer fwens le. I dunnoe, maybe its my fault. i walked away, I feel lyk crying. Al these things happened in front of me. No body talks tuh me or even bother me! I went tuh out side 1/3 classroom. Sat at 1/2 classroom. There isnt noise dere at all. Peaceful. My tears did nort drop. I dun wanna let it drop. I mus be brave. We made netball banner. At least happier. I dun wan anything more, I noe I lub netball and this team more den anything else, and huiting ish the onli fwen I can toke tuh inside. I m lonely. I m a loner. Nobody understands. They hav fwens. How I wish Jamie, Sam & qiqi ish dere by my side when I m sad. How I wish I cld hate dem including coach, tuh make myself feel lotsa beta. But I cld nort bring myself tuh. I hate myself.
watashiYimxD @ 7:53 PM
081205
2dae went tuh netball. Coach asked me go de cos amalina nort going. Sort of replacing her fer a while. Was a humiliate cos I m nort in sch team le. Ppl in sch ask here n dere in front of me say, kiayim sch team meh? Feel lyk crying out loud. Even if I m nort, cant dey jus keep their mouth shut? I saw ruiling n huiting happily playing. I noe tt me n huiting no longer fwens le. I dunnoe, maybe its my fault. i walked away, I feel lyk crying. Al these things happened in front of me. No body talks tuh me or even bother me! I went tuh out side 1/3 classroom. Sat at 1/2 classroom. There isnt noise dere at all. Peaceful. My tears did nort drop. I dun wanna let it drop. I mus be brave. We made netball banner. At least happier. I dun wan anything more, I noe I lub netball and this team more den anything else, and huiting ish the onli fwen I can toke tuh inside. I m lonely. I m a loner. Nobody understands. They hav fwens. How I wish Jamie, Sam & qiqi ish dere by my side when I m sad. How I wish I cld hate dem including coach, tuh make myself feel lotsa beta. But I cld nort bring myself tuh. I hate myself.
watashiYimxD @ 7:53 PM
